The SBN is coming!

5.31.00

#4 Most Wanted Sports Fugitive

OUTLANDISH ABUSE OF POWER; UNLAWFUL NON-RETURN OF PHONE CALLS; CONSPIRACY TO ROB THE BASEBALL HALL OF FAME; IMPERSONATING A MAJOR SPORTS LEAGUE COMMISSIONER; CONSPIRACY TO RELEASE LEPROSY; ACCESSORY TO "ROBBING A MAN OF HIS PLACE IN HISTORY"

BUD SELIG

Commish
Usual appearance		 Goofy
Known disguise
Aliases: Bugsy Selig, Rose "Peddler," Bud da Ball Breaker, The NON-throwin' Commish, Bart's Buddy, MasterCard's Main Man, Pete's "Pistol," "Sure-bet" Bud

DESCRIPTION

Date of Birth: Unknown Hair: Dyed
College: Unknown Eyes: Closed TIGHTLY
Height: 6'2" Complexion: White as a ghost
Weight: A buck fifty at best Sex: Male
Build: None
Occupation: Running Major League Baseball into the ground Race: Caucasian
Nationality: American as "apple pie with a worm in it"
Scars and Marks: UNCONFIRMED REPORTS (from a "Charlie") OF THREE "9's" ON BACK OF HEAD...PROBABLY JUST SOME TYPE OF BASEBALL REFERENCE AND NOTHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT.
Remarks:  Suffers from CHRONIC case of “It's GOOD to be the KING-Itis!”

CAUTION

SELIG IS BEING SOUGHT IN CONNECTION WITH HAVING NO REGARD FOR CHARLIE HUSTLE'S IMPACT ON THE GAME, NO RESPECT FOR THE FANS, NO SENSE OF COMPROMISE, AND NO DESIRE FOR GETTING BASEBALL'S BIGGEST MESS CLEANED UP!

CONSIDERED ARMED WITH A LOADED, DOUBLE-BARREL EGO AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS WHEN CONFRONTED BY THE VERY THOUGHT OF PETE ROSE!!!!!!

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT THE
Fans Bureau of Instigation

REWARD

WeTheFans.com is offering NO reward for information leading directly to the explanation of Selig's disappearance. It's just Internet Satire!

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5.31.00